Unicorns and Mortality


The word January originates from a Latin word meaning “an obligation to ask everyone if they had a nice Christmas” or “What is your new year’s resolution?” Actually, as you have probably already concluded, that is not based on a true story. January is named after Janus, the god of new beginnings and transitions, so there is a tenuous link between making resolutions and new beginnings. Well, at least until about the 16th January, when we often slip back into our old and comfortable habits, and less comfortable clothes due to an over indulgent Christmas. Why do people do that? Overeat at Christmas and then create a new year resolution to lose weight? Anyway, I digress. New Year’s Resolutions. I’m already a non-smoking, gluten-free vegetarian, so there are not many other vices left to deprive myself of. If anything, I should probably try adding in a dollop of naughtiness into this present incarnation of mine, before I die without having fully lived. And I do not say this in jest, the opening weeks of this new year have been rather fabulous in many ways, but then bitterly tainted with sadness as friend’s have lost their siblings and parents along the way. Friends. People of our own age, who are now saying their farewells to their parents and siblings. Naturally, with this harsh reality surrounding us, we start to question our own stage in life and our inevitable mortality. Suddenly, the end seems far closer than it ever did before, making us realise that life really is too short to sweat the small stuff, or make plans for years ahead, you know, years that may never actually come forth and bless us with their presence.

So you may now be asking, if we need to embrace a moment of panic, and venture out to find everyone who has ever hurt or wronged us, grab them in a forgiveness filled hug as a means to moving on and living happily ever after? Hell no, some people are simply dickheads, and are best left out of arms reach. In fact, some people are such big dickheads, and depending on the sheer size of their forehead protrusion, should be kept away from you far more distant than just arms length. A distance so great that they are removed from your short and precious life span; a reason, a season, a lifetime, and all that.

Now, don’t get me wrong, if you are able to forgive people from a distance for your own peace of mind and spiritual growth, please always endeavour to do this. And, if your forehead protrusion is a horn and you’re actually a unicorn, come right on into my life, bringing your positivity, glitter, healing powers and rainbows with you, as you trot along in this challenging earthly plane. But, if you are just a dickhead (male or female, they are available in both forms), just trot on by. I’ve over indulged in my acceptance of negative and selfish people in my life to date; sociopaths, emotional vampires, false victims, and bad people. Whilst I appreciate that there are many life lessons I am here to learn, from a plethora of personalities that will inevitably enter my life, I think I have now reached an acceptable stage of spiritual growth, where I can now happily fill my life with those I love, or at least quite like, rather than accommodating the weird folk with their cries of woes for themselves, negative spiels, and criticism of my world.

Maybe, if you truly wish to make a resolution, the resolution should be of a greater depth than a dress size or a food group deprivation. Embrace positivity, take more chances, be politer, read more, spend time with those who truly matter to you, be less driven by materialism, express gratitude, control your emotions, defend yourself, be more loving, or face your fears. Whatever you chose to be; don’t choose to be a dickhead.

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